Leaving your garden to strangers
Our first house, in Raleigh, North Carolina, was a 900-square-foot post-war cottage, and along with the charming hardwood flooring and cramped closets we inherited a neglected old garden of azaleas, dogwoods, roses, phlox, camellias, forsythia, and an ancient and beautiful Japanese maple. The garden, or what was left of it, was overgrown and thickety when we became its owners—fresh-faced 24-year-olds busy with new jobs, innocent of yard tools and their purposes, and more interested in making the interior feel like home than fussing with the exterior.
We bought a lawn mower and an electric trimmer. We spent one Saturday pulling weeds out of the lawn by hand until we gave up and decided just to mow them all down. I bought loppers and went after a rambling rose that had turned into a bramble patch along the side fence, emerging hours later with torn hands and leaving a butchered mess behind. Mostly we just let everything be, not sure what else to do.
Despite our neglect, or maybe thanks to it, the garden astonished us with a candy-cane colored display in the spring. Azaleas in pink, red, and white lined the foundation. The dogwoods scattered white and pink petals across the weedy lawn. The phlox—in parallel lines of alternating pink and white—invited passersby up the front steps. It was an amateur’s garden in the Latin sense of the word: loved , a garden someone had cherished for many years before it was relinquished—reluctantly, perhaps—to new ownership.
The married couple with young children who sold us the house passed along to us, with the closing documents, a map of the garden that the previous owner had given them. A rough sketch with circles, Xs, and hand-written notes indicating the various plants, it was our only clue in those pre-Internet days about what we were entrusted with. There were a lot of plants, and it was a detailed map. It spoke as clearly as a personal letter about the love someone felt for this garden. We still didn’t know how to take care of the plants, but the map connected us to the original gardener and instilled in us a sense of responsibility for her creation, which she’d left to the kindness of strangers.
We never removed anything and we hardly ever pruned, though the garden desperately needed it. After a year and a half I decided to plant something to fill a bare spot : a gardenia. I still recall my nervousness in digging the hole (was it deep enough?) and settling the shrub into it (did I fill it in correctly?). I stood back afterward, brushing off my knees, and looked at the little, green bush I’d planted. I felt surprised that it was, after all, quite easy to plant something, and I looked forward to watching it grow.
As it turned out, my husband got a job offer in Austin a few months later, and we sold the house after just two years of stewardship. The garden map conveyed to the new owner, a single woman with plans to repaint and add a covered patio. The neighborhood was on the upswing, and I wonder if the little house and its garden would even be recognizable now.
I was reminded of all this yesterday when I met a young, newly married couple for a garden-coaching session. A year ago, they bought a ranch house in north Austin with an extensive native-plant garden that, in its prime, had been featured on a garden tour. It was still quite lovely, even after several years of neglect by the previous owners who had admitted to the young couple that they hadn’t been interested in the garden. Still, they passed along a garden map from the original owner, two maps actually—one for the front garden and one for the back. The young couple unrolled them for me to see, and I admired them for a few minutes before we went out to look at the garden.
Hand sketched on oversized sheets, the maps indicated a wonderful variety of native plants, many of which must have been hard to find years ago before the native-plant movement caught hold. Each detail spoke of the love the gardener felt for her garden. Essentially, the map was a plea for future owners to care for it as she had.
The young couple hired me to help them ID their plants, to put names from the map to the faces of plants which had reseeded and moved around over the years, and to show them how to prune and care for their garden. The couple reminded me of myself and my husband at that age, wanting to know more about the garden they’d inherited, not quite sure how to begin but eager to be good stewards. I know they’ll take care of this garden and maybe even become gardeners themselves because of how they referred to the map bequeathed to them. They called it a treasure map.
With a garden—with nature in general—if you’re looking for treasure and you keep your eyes open, you’re sure to find it.
All material © 2006-2008 by Pam Penick for Digging. Unauthorized reproduction prohibited.
What a fun assignment you had helping the couple with their garden. A treasure map the plant identifier map would be. mmmmmmm I have tried doing this but it seems that I move things so often I can’t keep up such a map. Ha.. Maybe if I was moving away I would be able to put down on paper what was where.
I think that’s the key—making it when it’s time to leave. I started out with a detailed plan for my garden, but once I got it established and began changing some plants around, I stopped updating it. I would make a new one if I moved though. —Pam
What a wonderful little house — it looks like an enchanted cottage. 🙂 The map of the garden is a grand idea, especially in the planting stages.
We had good times in that little, white house. It was a good place to start out, and the old trees and shrubs helped it to feel homey. —Pam
I love that they called it a treasure map. It gives me hope. I don’t have maps of my garden. Perhaps I will draw them someday. This spring, after all is planted, I need to go around and renew some garden markers. I have several daylilies, roses and peonies unnamed. Thanks for the insight into your first married garden and the journey you’ve gone on to become the gardener and writer you are now.~~Dee
It gives me hope too, and if I ever leave this garden I know I’ll make a map for future owners. I just hope someone like the young couple I met ends up here rather than someone who just wants a lawn and a tree. —Pam
Your clients are lucky to have found a house with such a garden, and it seems like they appreciate it. My last house was previously owned by a gardener, although she did not leave a map and the garden was terribly overgrown and neglected by the time we got it. But I give it credit for helping me get interested in gardening. I remember the delight in seeing things bloom and wondering what they were. Especially the lycoris that shot out of the bare ground overnight and the bright red stalks that turned out to be peonies. Unfortunately when we got ready to move, our 1950s-era neighborhood was being redeveloped with mcmansions and the house and garden were bulldozed. I would have much preferred to have left it to a nice young couple instead.
Oh, I’m sorry to hear that, Bill. It would be hard to know that one’s garden was destroyed like that. But I know you moved a number of plants with you to your new garden, so the old one does live on through them. —Pam
Pam, kudos to that young couple! I’ve left a few gardens behind due to moves. At the last home I sold, the new owner does maintain the front beds. I may take a walk sometime soon on the the next block over, where I’ll be able to see what became of the back gardens. I’m not sure I want to know though. . .
In the three previous homes before the last one, the gardens were dug out and replaced with lawn. One of those homes was turned into a McMansion with no landscaping except for the trees, and no yard because the house takes up so much of the small lot. It’s the ugliest house on the block, and looks so out of place with the cute little cape cods and ranches with their lovely gardens and beautiful front porches.
That’s hard to swallow, I’m sure. What a shame. I hope you were able to take some plants from those gardens along with you to help them live on in your new garden. —Pam
We inherited a garden when the previous owner became ill and moved to be near her daughter.She hadn’t been able to keep up with the weeding and things were very overgrown (I didn’t even see a 3 foot rose bush that was there until we started clearing out) She gave us some of her books she had consulted while planting. It was a revelation to us that first year how things would pop up and bloom. I didn’t do much at first because I was afraid of disturbing something. Later as time went on I got more courageous and by the time we left I truly believe that the garden helped sell the house. Now I as start my own garden from a bare slate in our new location I remembered that garden and am amazed at how much I learned and the confidence it gave me to seek out specific species and varieties of plants, not settling for whatever is on sale at the big box stores.
You were a great caretaker for that garden because you not only kept it going but made it your own. I’m sure the original owner would have been happy had she known. Old gardens can be good confidence builders, can’t they? —Pam
What a lovely post! When we moved into our home in 2005 there weren’t very many plants and such a huge yard, (compared to what I used to have.) I fell in love with it. I am still working on filling it up with plants, shrubs, trees and such. I have a map of sorts myself that I update each year, that was the reason for my starting my blog.
Blank slates can be such fun. I started with one at my current house, and thanks to the previous gardens I’d inherited, I had the experience and confidence to know what to do with a blank slate when I got it. I’m glad you’re having fun with yours too. —Pam
Wouldn’t you just love to have known then what you know now about gardening. I think most of us start out that green and just learn as we go.
Smart couple to hire a gardening coach to begin with, and even smarter that it was you.
We all have to start green somewhere, don’t we, and I’m glad to have had the opportunity to learn—mostly by observation rather than actual work—in that Raleigh garden. It would be much harder to learn with a blank slate, though I was thrilled to get one later on, when I had the confidence to make my own garden from scratch. —Pam
The map sounds like such a great idea! I guess it is only helpful if those that bought the house are willing to take care of the garden. I find that many homeowners that come looking for plants want things that are just so maintenance free and will grow with no care at all. I’m very scared for the first time I create a wonderful garden in my first home and have to leave it to the new homeowners. It would be wonderful if I were to find a new home with a wonderful garden to it already that I could work off of. Inheriting a previous garden makes everything feel more special since you don’t know how long it has been there and who they received it from or if it was grown from seed. To me that would make me want to care for things more if they did a great job. I guess when I move I’ll just think of it as a nice gift that the new homeowners will hopefully love and cherish.
I agree that inheriting an established garden can give you a feeling of connection to the gardener who made it. Maintaining an existing garden is a good way to learn too. But blank slates have their appeal as well, and then your only worry is what will happen to your garden when you move on. There isn’t much you can do about that, but leaving a garden map can only help. —Pam
I like the idea of the treasure map. I didn’t have one when I moved into this 60 year-old house. The trees were past their prime as were many of the bushes and foundation plants. I didn’t need to do anything to the yard and didn’t for over a year. I just watched the sun patterns and the waited to see if there were any old bulbs or other treasures that would surprise me. Of course, there were. I spent that year identifying plants and inventorying what I had.
I love the idea of trust and stewardship implied in the treasure map–part hope and part plea to take care of a wonderful gift. Kudos to you and the other young couple who took up the challenge.
You took the right approach with your inherited garden—waiting and watching to see what treasures revealed themselves. I’m sure the original gardener would be thrilled to know how you’ve cared for the garden. —Pam
What an wonderful story…with a happy ending, too. Excited and happy couple buy a house and find a treasure map to a beautiful garden surrounding the home they will make. Thank you Pam for sharing their story and yours, Gail
Thanks, Gail. 🙂 —Pam
Nice story.
I know the feeling when you for the first time have a garden to take care of, if it is big or small don’t matter, It is the joy.
The joy is still there after 20 years and it is always new things to learn…
Ken
Yes, tending a garden does bring a lot of joy and gives you a lot to learn. Good for the muscles and the brain, right? —Pam
I love those treasure maps. I had made one for the first house we lived in and gave it to the new owner. Most of my bushes have since been ripped out though. I started making one for the garden I just left behind too, but then I put that plan on hold since I have plans to dig some of the plants up. I hope the plants I am forced to leave behind will be well cared for by the new owners though.
It must have been very hard for you to leave your gardens behind. I hope the owners of your recently sold house will respect your garden while making it their own. —Pam
I try not to think about what will happen to my garden after I leave it (for whatever reason). I was afraid to see what happened to my last garden, which I left 15 years ago. Last summer, my daughter & I were on our way home from a dog show & we were near my old house. I swallowed my anxiety & turned onto the street so my daughter could see the house. Imagine my surprise & delight that the extensive front garden was still there! I admire anyone who takes on an established garden & maintains it or, even better, makes it their own.
What a happy surprise that must have been, MMD. Doesn’t it make you feel as if a kindred spirit lives in your old house? —Pam
I really enjoyed this story. I remember when I was just newly married and we bought our first home. There were no plants or trees it was a basic house on dirt! I was lucky to have a Great Aunt (she is still living and is 102 yrs old!) who taught me everything I ever wanted to know about gardening and plants. I would spend hours with her as she talked about the different types of plants she had and let me take starts from them all. There is no better way than to learn first hand from someone who has already done it all (-:
You truly had a blank slate, didn’t you? How wonderful that your great aunt shared her plant knowledge—and plants—with you as you created your first garden. —Pam
Oh, that’s so cool. And it gives me some hope about the future of my own garden, since a few of my gardening friends have told me about laboring over a garden, only to sell the house and pass it again one day to find that the new owners had ripped out everything so carefully planted to put in a lawn and some boxwoods. At least garden bloggers can point any new owners to their blogs for carefully-labeled pictures of their plants! 🙂
That’s a good point! Maybe we don’t need to make maps at all but just maintain our blogs, which have documented our gardens in all seasons. —Pam
What a lovely story, Pam. It makes me think about the question of how to get more people interested in gardening. I can think of few better ways than creating a garden and then passing it along to someone else, with the hope that it will inspire them to nurture it, just as your first place did for you. It doesn’t always work – my last garden has now been returned to lawn, and it seems obvious that the current owners care little for it. But when it *does* work, magic things can happen! Our blogging community would certainly have been less rich if you’d never been bitten by the gardening bug.
Thanks, Nan. It is heartbreaking to see a garden bulldozed, but at least we gardeners know that while a particular garden may be temporary, another can always be created. And the knowledge and enthusiasm we share in our blogs may inspire someone new to become a gardener. —Pam
Dear Pam,
What a penetrating essay this is, a really eloquent piece that, to me, say, “the plants are here, and we have dreams and designs for them and tend them awhile — we are the ones just passing through.”
My mother inherited a wonderful garden 45 years with so many varieties of flowers — too many of them drowned out now by some tedious groundcover and shut down as the shade deepened. It’s hard to keep any vision the same, much less extend it.
Love these colors of these photos you have kept!
J.
Thanks for your kind words, Julie. Because of the temporal nature of gardens, I think we are just caretakers for a while, and then we pass our creation along to another. In their hands, it survives or it doesn’t. It’s a rare garden that lasts anyway, and the main thing we take from our gardens is experience, plus the knowledge and confidence to create another. —Pam
What a great story and how fortunate you and your clients were to end up with “treasure maps” left by the former owners of your respective houses. As gardeners, perhaps that is how we ensure there is even a chance of someone tending our gardens when we are gone, by leaving behind a map of the garden. I’ve left two small gardens behind with virtually no clues for the new owners, but the gardens were fairly new, and there was still quite an opportunity for the new owners to make the gardens their own. In fact, with my first house and garden, a subsequent owner spent nearly as much on the landscape as the house cost me new!
I left my first garden in Austin behind without a map too. That house has changed hands several times, but the garden survives so far. I will definitely leave a map when I leave this house one day, mainly because this garden is more important to me. —Pam
You made me cry! I love what gardens do…
They really do represent the dreams and love of their owners, don’t they? —Pam
What a lovely tale. And your previous house looks delightful. Leaving a garden map is a lovely idea. Blogging has prompted me to keep better records of what I’m doing and making maps and lists is on my proverbial to do list. What a nice job assignment to work with the young couple and to teach them and I can’t think of a better teacher.
Thanks, Diana. That was a fun assignment because the couple were clearly so interested in learning about their inherited garden. They lucked into a real treasure when they bought that house. —Pam
Next time I’m headed to Raleigh, I’ll stop by and take a picture for you. I live two hours down the road from there. You told your story beautifully and so many of us can relate. We all want our gardens to live on.
Thanks for the offer, Anna. I’m not sure if I really want to see how it’s changed, but let me know when you go and I’ll decide then. That garden was never really mine. I just watched over it for a while. But I feel a bit sentimental over it nonetheless. —Pam
I’m on my fourth (and last, I hope) garden. I’ve never gone back and looked at my previous gardens; I think I’m afraid what I’d find (or not find). We’re in an area of the country where gardening is not terribly advanced (the brightly painted tire planter in the front yard is well considered).
Don
I agree that it is hard to go back to see how your old gardens have fared. I might not want to either.
Regarding the tire planters, I’m reminded of a recent book by Austinite Jill Nokes called Yard Art and Handmade Places: Extraordinary Expressions of Home. Nokes takes a sympathetic and empowering look at gardens created out of humble materials like tire planters. In her view, such gardens illustrate the gardener’s creativity and love of place, and they bring happiness (and humor) to many observers. You may never look at a tire planter the same way again after you read her book. At least, that’s how I felt. Thanks for commenting, Don. —Pam
Such a beautiful post. What a nice thing to get and give a map of the garden. I drive past my old house/garden weekly and everything was mowed down or paved over. It’s changed hands several times but never has a gardener lived there again.
I’m sorry, Melanie. Sometimes I think we gardeners are too few, don’t you? —Pam
Neat story! I wish I had inherited a well-loved garden with map and all.
Thanks, Karen. —Pam
When I pass old, abandoned rural houses, I wonder sometimes, about who had been the very first family to live there, and who planted the rose bush and the large tree, that must have been so small when the house was new.
I wonder if they are haunted by the dreams left behind…
Isn’t it amazing to see the evidence of the gardener who’s long gone, whether in an old rose that still blooms alongside a solitary chimney or a double line of daffodils where a front path once led? —Pam
What a beautiful post Pam. The previous owner of my current home offered to leave me a landscape plan and I was thrilled (that hadn’t ever happened before). However, the elation was short lived as she never followed thru. It’s a great idea tho and you’ve made it so much more meaningful by sharing your story and that of your new clients.
Oh, what a shame that she didn’t make that plan for you. Perhaps it brought home to her how difficult it was to leave the garden behind. Still, I’m sure you’ve had fun discovering the garden. —Pam
What a great assignment- and so fun to think back to early experiences with gardening. I know they say “Never go back” once you move, but I always have the curiosity to do so to see how things have changed.
Lee at the Grackle reminded me of the street-view on Google Earth. So I looked up my old Raleigh house and saw that the house has been added onto and looks pretty nice. The garden has been scaled back, but the major elements are still there, in the front yard at least. The back is hidden by a privacy fence. —Pam
When visiting a sister in the Carolinas, we were admiring her landscape and I asked what particular plants were. How handy a map would have been to identify them – and to see what the garden once had been! (you know how those gardens evolve through the years . . . Lovely post, Pam!
Thank you, Beth. Yes, a garden certainly has a way of evolving, whether you want it to or not. —Pam
Pam, what a wonderful story. I’ve often wondered what will happen here at Our Little Acre when we no longer live here. There’s been talk of older daughter Kara and her husband being future owners, but that’s pretty iffy and still a long way off. Your story is just delightful and made me smile.
I hope that happens, Kylee. Then you’d know your garden would be in good hands. —Pam
What a great idea to pass along, Pam. I hadn’t thought of it before. A map of an existing garden would certainly be a great help to new owners.
On a return visit to Australia in ’03 I took our oldest daughter to see the little house we’d built and sold before returning to the US. The once lovely (and loved) front garden was neglected and boring, with just a few untended shrubs and plants, and nothing whatsoever blooming. It was a sad sight.
How interesting it is seeing your first house and garden, and reading the story of how far you’ve advanced as a gardener. That young couple have the right idea!
I’m sorry about your Australian garden, Kerri. What a shame. I keep forgetting how far you now live and garden from your birthplace. What a difference it must be to garden where you’ve ended up! —Pam
I am participating in a 31 Day Comment Challenge. One of the challenges this week was to find, read and comment on a blog that is not related to your field. Since time is always a premium I decided to search out gardens and photography, something I’m interested in but not related to education. I found a simple flower/photo blog on technorati last night. This morning I woke up and goggled; blog, garden and photography and found your site through one other blog. What beautiful photographs! I especially liked the photo of the flower covered in ice.
In regards to this post I couldn’t agree with you more when you said, “With a garden—with nature in general—if you’re looking for treasure and you keep your eyes open, you’re sure to find it.” This year I have stepped up photographing flowers in my gardens. I’m finding it’s a way to capture those treasures.
Many years ago when we first started changing our front lawn into a garden my husband made a map and for awhile I tried to keep up with the changes. After reading this post and knowing my map is out of date and I don’t have any maps of the back garden I’m thinking about taking photographs of the gardens and using those as my map.
I’ll be checking out more of your site and using it to find more garden blogs. Then I’ll start looking for blogs where I can learn to be a better digital photographer.
I am wondering what do you find to be the most challenging part of keeping up with your blog, gardening, photography and helping others with gardening as well?
Thanks for a great site.
Hi, Nedra, and thanks for visiting. I just popped by and left a comment on your site too. Your comment challenge sounds like a good way to branch out and try new things.
To answer your last question, the most challenging thing for me is finding the right balance between spending leisure time with my family, who need and deserve most of my attention, spending time blogging and gardening, my two passions, and making time for my freelance business, which I enjoy tremendously. While I often wish there were more hours in the day, I feel very lucky to have three such fulfilling “destinations” in my life. —Pam
Hi Pam,
Your posts for the first 10 days in May were all fun to read, but this super story is the one that gets a comment ;-]
We made fairly large front gardens at the last two houses before this one, and for each one I made maps and plant lists, leaving them with the new owners. The one in Austin doesn’t look too different when I pass by, and the one in Illinois was still in place a couple of summers ago… but boy, did I want to stop off and have at it with some good pruners!
But I’ve only been on the giving end…like MSS I watched and waited each time we moved, hoping for treasures to sprout.
Annie at the Transplantable Rose
I wanted to get out the pruners every time I’d drive past my last Austin house for a while too. But then a new person moved in and started making the garden her own while still preserving it, which made me happy. I’m sorry you haven’t inherited a garden map yet, but it is fun making our own as treasures surface, isn’t it? —Pam
This, for me, is a hard post to read. I know my own garden is idiosyncratic. I know anyone who lives here in the future will want to change it. (For one thing, there is no lawn.) But I find the thought almost intolerable. On the other hand, if ever I move, I will want a ‘free hand’ in my next garden – to make it ‘home’. It’s a bit contradictory!
Esther
ESTHER IN THE GARDEN
You’re right—it is contradictory. Like you, I know only a gardener—or someone who could hire out the maintenance—would want to keep my garden the way it is. But a gardener also would want to make it their own. Just as I would. —Pam