Foliage gardening apologies: do you do it?
At least once or twice a month I find myself trying to explain my garden to politely interested non-gardeners. A couple of days ago the smiling inquiry was from a new doctor. Upon learning that I liked to garden, she asked the standard question, “What do you grow: vegetables or flowers?”
Well, neither, actually. But instead of trying to explain that I love the design aspect of gardening, and that I choose most of my plants for evergreen structure, foliage texture and form, grassy or fuzzy deer-resistance, and sturdy drought-resistance, I usually offer a pseudo-apology that goes something like this: I have a shady garden, so there really aren’t many flowers, mostly shrubs and grasses. Also I like agaves. This often elicits an Oh, I can’t handle cactus!
When a new friend, or a friend of a friend, learns that I’m a gardener and asks for a tour, I find myself making excuses even as I’m leading them through the gate: it’s not what you might expect, it’s mostly evergreen, I don’t have many flowers.
Am I the only foliage gardener who does this? In a world of showy flower gardens and practical edible gardens, do you ever find yourself feeling shy about your ornamental foliage garden, like an introvert at a party full of extroverts?
Don’t get me wrong. I enjoy flowers and eagerly anticipate seasonal shows from plants like rain lilies (pictured), oxblood lilies, garlic chives, and Texas bluebonnet. I also value flowers like sweet almond verbena for their fragrance, and those that attract pollinators and hummingbirds.
But flowers aren’t why I garden. I garden to create views that look good all year, with strong bones and interesting foliage. I garden to make enticing destinations out of open space. I garden to create a journey.
Anything else is icing on the cake.
And yet the apologist in me is always ready when that question arises: What do you grow: flowers or food? To be sure, it’s not a question that fellow gardeners or readers of Digging ask. It’s strictly a non-gardener’s question, which tells me that foliage gardening is not on the radar for most people.
In the popular conception of “gardener,” you either fuss over flowers or toil over tomatoes. What about fawning over foliage? Or digging design?
How about you? If you consider yourself a foliage gardener, do you ever find yourself tongue-tied when a stranger asks you about your garden? Or do you apologize for your garden in any other way, even though you may be perfectly happy with it yourself?
All material © 2006-2015 by Pam Penick for Digging. Unauthorized reproduction prohibited.
Oh yes. I know I post a lot of flowers but they are really tucked around a lot of foliage plants. I will never forget the time my garden was awarded ‘Garden of the Month’ which was an award that the local paper was doing for their Lifestyles page one year. The gardens were nonminated by readers and the local ‘expert’ came out to the garden and looked around and if he agreed your garden was selected. The paper sent out the photographer and as soon as he stepped into my garden he asked “where are the flowers? The other gardens had flowers.” ha… I was a bit taken aback. He just didn’t know what to make of my garden. Now I do like you say you do and warn people that there aren’t armloads of flowers here most of the time.
That’s a perfect illustration of what I’m talking about, Lisa. “Where are the flowers” indeed. —Pam
No wonder gardeners tend to gather in ‘like me’ groups. The eyes of non-gardeners glaze over when we begin to talk.
Ha, so true. —Pam
I love your garden, precisely for the foliage…and, the bones.
I keep striving for that look here.
All the colors and textures, make up for fewer flowers.
Plus, fewer flowers usually means fewer hours of maintenance.
Shrubby plants and grasses do require less maintenance than flowering perennials. That’s another good reason to like them! —Pam
My shade garden is being designed with foliage colour in mind. Like you, deep shade means less flowers but I am okay with that. Looking to create gold, green and white tones throughout to brighten it up. Its all about good foliage. I grow a bit of everything from food to flowers in the sunny areas of the garden.
Do you find that visitors who are non-gardeners gravitate to the sunny, flowery parts of your garden rather than the shady foliage garden? I think it’s easier for people who aren’t gardeners to understand flower gardens than foliage gardens. —Pam
I think I’m a shade apologist. Is that just a different flavor of the same thing? I love flowers, but I enjoy the challenge of foliage-centric gardening and I’m frustrated that I can’t plant big bold sun-loving agaves and yuccas in my mostly shade backyard. Seeing the contrast of a fine-textured plant against an agave was a game changer for me!
Wendy, here in Austin you can actually grow a lot of agaves and yuccas in shade — not deep shade, maybe, but certainly dappled and part shade. Drainage can be the trickiest part because you don’t want to pile fast-draining soil on top of your tree roots. My solution is large pots under the trees. Try squid agave, ‘Green Goblet’ agave, ‘Colorata’ agave, whale’s tongue agave, ‘Jaws’ agave, softleaf yucca, and Texas sotol. —Pam
Woohoo!! I had no idea! I’ve been wanting to incorporate more pots anyway!
I started my gardening life – at 5 years old, as a vegetable gardener. I was in high school before I started growing flowers. Then I started collecting. I found a whole new world reading your blog and gardening books that taught me a garden needs structure. Along the way, I also started growing natives, including propagating them to give away.
Now my idea of a garden is one with good bones, fabulous views, both on and off my property, a sense of mystery with little hideouts and hidden spots to find, and one that also has vegetables incorporated into the mix. Sometime I might even have a garden like that, If I stop traveling.
Enjoy your travels, Marilyn. You’re welcome to get your garden fix here in the meantime. 🙂 —Pam
Because I’m conflicted about the foliage/flower thing, and I have some — ahem — personality quirks — I find I mostly apologize to myself for the lack of flowers. I love brightly colored flowers, but I love foliage too. When I go on a garden tour that includes lots of very flowery gardens, I find I really love that look, and want more of it in my own garden. But then I seem to have a hard time actually implementing it. I’m hard to satisfy.
Aren’t we all, Alison. 🙂 —Pam
It’s a little easier for me to have a predominantly indigenous, mostly fynbos, garden as there is more interest in our wildflowers than there was decades ago. When a garden always had lawn and roses and none of ‘those weeds’.
But apologise to visitors because I garden for biodiversity – no – deep breath and try to find a way to ‘garden for THAT visitor’ too.
Disconcerting to imagine someone in Your garden asking but where’s the flowers?
Mind you, no one has actually said that to me. It’s more what I imagine, and therefore preemptively apologize for. When non-gardeners ask me about my garden, they always frame it as a choice between flower gardening and edible gardening, and I’m always left wondering how to succinctly explain my “other” garden to them. —Pam
Pam, like you, I have a lot of shade, so much of the attraction of my garden is year round foliage. When people ask the question, I tell them my garden is a pleasure garden, full of palms, yuccas, agaves, roses, native and exotic shrubs, etc.. By then their eyes have glazed over and they don’t ask any more questions.
I like your response, Peter: a pleasure garden (like Chanticleer!). It sounds a bit hedonistic though. Do they ever get the wrong idea? 😉 —Pam
Well, I haven’t seen any unusual activity at night, if that’s what you mean. But no, no comments in that direction either!
I suppose this helps clarify for me why I’m not willing to welcome visitors to our garden spaces. I have a hard enough time pleasing my own eye and meeting my own standards. I feel no need to pile on frustration via outsider’s opinions of what is growing in and going on here.
When pressed by people who don’t know me well to explain why or how I garden, I typically state I garden partly to attract wildlife and also to irritate my neighbors. People laugh, but I’m barely kidding.
That’s a good response, Deb, and keeps ’em guessing. Regarding having visitors over, though, I think you’d find fellow gardeners to be quite intrigued by whatever you’re doing. It’s only to non-gardeners that I ever feel obliged to give the “it’s not what you might expect” speech. —Pam
I’m not sure that folks get what gardeners do. I think many people don’t understand the artful and creative aspect that is part of every garden–no matter what is grown. Throw in an explanation of the importance of gardening for wildlife or profiling interesting foliage? Wow–hard concepts, apparently. I was recently asked to be part of an arts coalition because of the ceramics I make. What I make are fun and interesting, but whether they qualify as art is up for grabs. I attempted to explain that my real passion for creation is what I do in my garden and for other gardens, when that was in play. The person just didn’t comprehend that design, experimentation, and new ways of looking at a “yard” might be art and that gardeners do all of the above.
I think you’ve put your finger squarely on the issue, Tina. If you’re not a gardener yourself, you may think of gardening as just sticking a bunch of flowers in the ground and admiring them. And of course there’s no one “right” way to garden, either, as these comments illustrate so well. Some people are in it for wildlife, others for the creation of spaces, others for flat-out plant lust. No wonder non-gardeners just don’t get it. My eyes would glaze over too if I weren’t so into it myself! —Pam
I think maybe I’m just too clueless to notice their indifference to the way I garden, the flowers thing doesn’t really come up with me. Although…I do get asked about vegetables some and then it really freaks them out when I mention “containers” and “driveway.”
Your post does remind me of a question my parents, in attempting to seem interested in my life, often ask. “How are your flowers?” After say a cold snap in the winter, or a heat wave in the summer. I know they really mean “how are your plants”…they aren’t asking about the actual flowers…
I love the story about your parents showing interest in your “hobby” by asking how your flowers are doing. I presume they’ve seen your garden? —Pam
I love your garden, so much visual interest..who needs flowers? If you don’t have interest in the foliage once a flower is done, what is left? In your garden… a lot!
Here in the South we’re preoccupied with having a green garden year-round, and I’m no exception. Focusing on strong bones and planting plenty of evergreens helps me do that. I love the flowers that I have, but I don’t long for more. —Pam
Although foliage plants make up a healthy portion of my garden, I’m a recovering flower addict and there is always something flowering in my garden. In fact, I’ve all but given up my vegetable garden for a floral cutting garden. That said, I think most gardeners apologize – there’s always something that looked its best last week or that you expect will look its best next week and so you apologize for the fact that the visitor has missed the show. But that’s what blogs are for, isn’t it? To show the highlights (as well as some of the disappointments) when they occur?
You are so right, Kris — we all apologize for something, don’t we? What I love about blogging is sharing my obsession with like-minded people — because I’d bore my non-gardening friends and family to death with it otherwise! —Pam
I was just trying to explain this very problem to one of my coworkers – she’s recently bought a house and is just now starting to try to figure out which plants to plant and I told her to start with trees and bushes and not worry about flowering plants for another year or so, and she thinks I’m crazy because she loves flowers and she wants the flowers. When I explained to her that all of the flowering plants she likes look like little twigs in the winter and she needs something with substance for those months, she seemed to get it, but I think she’s still just planning for the few months when everything is blooming.
I think you explained it well, Katina. When meeting with design clients, one of the most common complaints I heard was that the garden looked dead in the winter. —Pam
As an introvert, I can completely understand the constant urge to apologize. Fortunately, I’m also overly literal, so when people ask me that question, I usual ramble out some answer about what I actually grow, blissfully unaware of the discomfort I cause my audience. It’s a good way to live. lol. The apologies come when people actually see my garden, which is mostly wide expanses of empty space with a scattering of very young trees and shrubs at this point, with a few actual garden areas that I’m either fleshing out or redoing. I gracelessly brush off any compliments with self-effacing humor and dissatisfied chagrin.
To be a gardener is to have vision and to believe in the future. I think the dissonance between reality and what we’re planning for manifests in the apologies we offer. —Pam
Well said, Pam! I need that stitched on a throw pillow or something…
All this time I’ve followed your blog I’ve never really noticed that you don’t have many flowers! I honestly never noticed because I love your garden – for the reasons that you garden I think.
I wouldn’t apologize if I were you. Just wait for them to speak, if you don’t point out what isn’t there, I think most people will really be overcome by what IS there.
Love your garden!
Thanks, Jen. 🙂 —Pam
Great piece, Pam. It raises some interesting questions. And it truly resonates with me. Sometimes when I’m asked to talk about Glen Villa, my garden in Quebec, I start by saying that a garden is not about flowers. I go on to say what it is about — for me, at least. And that is memories, time, ideas. I may use foliage or flowers or sculpture or hardscaping to bring out these things, but they are the outcome rather than the starting point. Groups who come looking for exuberant flower displays may find them in some seasons, but not in all. The views and the ideas that structure the garden are always there.
Patterson, exactly! All gardens are, as you say, about memory, time, and ideas, but you are particularly thoughtful about it in your designs. And in your blog posts about it, which is why I enjoy your blog so much. —Pam
It’s a great compliment to know you enjoy what I write on my blog, Pam. Thank you. And ditto!
I almost always start any visit with this phrase~”Lower your expectations.” I take lots of critter photos on wildflowers and people assume my garden is floriferous all the time. It isn’t. There are long stretches of green time in between the native plant blooms. Much of my garden is in shade beneath moisture sucking oak and hickory trees and finding good looking native plants with attractive foliage isn’t always easy. I do try to create views and year round interest~containers and colorful art helps, too.
So appreciate that you wrote this post.
As you point out, there’s also the difference between our blog posts (i.e., carefully curated views at the best times of the year) and reality. Yep, that too! —Pam
I wish more people would share the ‘bad’ views on their blog posts. We can learn so much from seeing other people’s gardens when they aren’t looking their best. But even though I wish the, I find it SO hard to take (and then show!) a photo of my garden when it is tired and droopy, or filled with weeds.
I’ve done a few of those kinds of posts over the years. Yes, they’re educational and they keep it real, which is especially useful for new gardeners who are reading. But like you say, they’re not much fun to do. And I suspect doing lots of those kinds of posts would turn off many readers who come for beautiful images. The best of both worlds is to post before-and-after shots of an area you’ve struggled with and reworked. Then it’s both educational and inspirational. And it’s a lot more fun, as a blogger, to show how you’ve transformed an area than just to show something that disappoints you. —Pam
I agree. Before and after does the job best.
I agree with so many of these comments! Your garden is outrageously awesome and if I had some trees, I’d try to copy it (or just move into yours–haha). I have lots of sun, with hibiscus, canna lilies, Texas-hardy roses, plumeria, and a couple of Chinese Hats. When they bloom, it’s awesome and I take pictures, because tomorrow they will all fry in this south TX sun! Arghhhh! All that work, and if I’m at work that day, I’ve missed it. Then one of your posts will pop up and I say out loud, What am I working so hard for?? No, you shouldn’t apologize. If they don’t like it, they can go to the botanical gardens for coffee. You can invite he rest of us who appreciate your greenery! ?? and I thank you so much for sharing it with us. God continue to bless you and your garden. ????
Well, thanks, Carol! I’m glad you enjoy seeing a different kind of garden here at Digging. I love seeing other types of gardens — whatever someone is passionate about — on blogs too. —Pam
You made me laugh out loud this morning…cuz you caught me. Just this morning, I was sitting and sipping in my courtyard and of course, feeling guilty about not having more flowers.
And my wimpy tomato plants in a pot were obviously just tokens, so I can answer with honesty those pesky questions about flowers or veggies.
Hey, I’m impressed just by the idea of sitting and sipping in your courtyard. Now if we could only do it without seeing all the things that are “wrong” with our gardens, right? —Pam
I have plenty to apologize for but actually take pride in the supporting role played by flowers. The last time I was asked “the question”, the reply to my year-round interest ramble was “Oh, you’re a REAL gardener”. I don’t know about that, but it was a nice response, don’t you think? You, of all people, have nothing to apologize for.
Like you, I don’t know about the label “real gardener” either. That implies something frivolous about those who love flowers, doesn’t it? But what I do like is that they listened to your ramble and had a positive response! That’s the kind of person you’re happy to invite into your garden. —Pam
As a dry shade gardener, I’m always apologizing for my garden. Or, at least, when people give me compliments, I’ve learned to say, “Thank you — all I see are the flaws.” That’s half way to a gracious response, it think. But Loree is right, most people say “flowers” when they mean “plants.”
Gardens are so personal and yet such a public display of our efforts. I think that’s why we’re all compelled to apologize for them, even if we love them ourselves.
Like saying “flowers” when you mean “plants,” non-gardeners also often say “yard” instead of “garden.” I think of a yard as being just lawn and a few shrubs, but for non-gardeners the words are interchangeable. For example, occasionally a neighbor will stop to compliment my garden by saying, “I like your yard.” Nothing wrong with that, of course, and it’s a nice compliment. It just illustrates the gulf between gardeners and the non-obsessed. —Pam
I have been following your blog for a few months, and I love looking at your gardens. They are proof that you can have a beautiful garden without lots of flowers. I have mostly shade in my yard, and I have discovered for myself that interesting and varied foliage can be delightful to the eye.
They can indeed. Sometimes it takes having shade to learn this lesson well, don’t you think? —Pam
Dear Pam- you never have to apologize for your gardens !
Slap me next time, Shelley. 😉 —Pam
This is great, what I run into with clients (or those I would rather not be clients).
Your saying “foliage gardening is not on the radar for most people” is the crux of this, and I think it reflects a lack of sophistication and learning past old guard stuff. Yet, your garden and many others are impacting others, maybe those not into it?
“What do you grow: vegetables or flowers?” – vegetables, for the deer!
Great answer, David! —Pam
Pam, your garden is beautiful!
I usually say: My favorite color is green.
I love the views with several green tones and one or two other colors popping on a green background.
Kermit said it’s not easy being green, but I rather like it too, Tatyana. —Pam
What a great post! So many people can relate, myself included. I am mostly a native gardener. And I love to talk about it with people who share my interest in native gardening. But I worry about sounding preachy when I say that because when people then say, “What does that mean?” and I begin to try to discuss native gardening as it pertains to wildlife it can sound, well… preachy 😛 -or just boring to some people. So lately I avoid the topic, really. And what’s more embarassing, is if I tell people I like to garden and then they mention a common flower or plant people garden with such as peonies that aren’t native where I live & so I know next to nothing (or nothing at all) about them then they have a hard time even believing that I am a gardener in the first place, lol.
Your last anecdote made me smile, Lauren. “Gardener” is obviously a word that carries a lot of baggage and too little reflection of reality. Thanks for sharing! —Pam
I loved this post and comments. My mother gardens an acre and a half in MN, which now contains hundreds of irises and day lilies and other flowers and vegetables in the summer. She is burying my inheritance!
I live in Steiner and started planting “defensively” so I couldn’t see neighbors. Mostly trees and screening bushes. Then planting structurally (agaves, cactus, vines, salvias ) then more pollinators now I’m finally planting flowers (annuals, perennials)
I strive for your lawn no more approach but if I planted flowers that would be 1) expensive … Esp annuals 2) even more time consuming 3) not really my style.
I’m so happy to see your garden Pam, because it reminds me that gardening isn’t just flowers and vegetables. It’s getting your hands dirty and communing with nature with whatever palet of plants we like.
That’s a great way to sum it up, Mike. It sounds like you have successfully avoided the temptation to apologize for foliage gardening to those who don’t get it. I will endeavor to follow your example! —Pam
This surely speaks to my soul! Yes! I know this exact feeling, especially gardening next door to a woman who provides beautiful displays of blossoms of many colors. I love looking at her gardens, but choose foliage and form for myself, which she doesn’t understand. But there is something special about falling in love with foliage. Your Texas-climate foliage is beautiful, and I miss this look since we moved from Texas to NC. Now I embrace different styles of foliage. But the love of foliage remains.
Have you visited Plant Delights Nursery’s display gardens at one of their open houses yet, June? If not, you need to go. They include so many beautiful types of foliage plants you can grow in NC, including some you’ll know from your years in Texas. —Pam
Awesome post and I could not agree more. My focal point in most spots year round will be an agave, yucca, prickly pear, or some combo of the three. I’ll add to your agaves-in-partial-shade list: ‘Sharkskin’ and ‘Havard’ varieties seem to do well. -RB
Good to know, Ryan, thanks! —Pam
AMEN! We at “Team Fine Foliage” heartily agree! We have a saying- “Flowers are fleeting, foliage is forever!” We love flowers too of course. But, YOU know, great garden design begins with foliage as the core and the plethora of colors and textures is just as plentiful as blooming options. Thanks for highlighting this topic! 🙂
Your book illustrates this so well, Christina. I look forward to your next one! —Pam
I always get “oh, I couldn’t do that, it looks like too much work” or “you must spend all your time in the garden”. My reply to both is it takes less time to tend to than a lawn.
I’ll admit that my own garden takes more of my time than a lawn would require, but I find it much more enjoyable work, with a much bigger payoff. It’s all in what you consider to be “work,” right? —Pam